And yes, like all men, I’ve got a big one – but what sort of ‘big’ one?

A huge ambition to show off my power and my masculine strength.

A huge desire to prove that I’m a man – a real man, a tough one.

In our society, masculinity wreaks havoc every day (the line between masculinity and masculinism is often a fine one (I’ll leave you to look that up on Wikipedia).

Sadly, this can be measured by the number of women suffering violence at the hands of their partners.

Although, thankfully, in a much more peaceful way, this excess of testosterone is also evident in golf.

Am I exaggerating?

Okay!

Every day, I meet and observe men and women on the driving range.

Let’s first look at how men behave on the driving range.

There they are on the mat, practising HITTING those poor balls. The choice of words is important.

Most of the men I observe HIT the ball.

Whereas many women swing their clubs. Let me remind you that the English word ‘swing’ means to swing or to sway.

And as the ball is in the path of the club, when you swing your club gently, it is struck as it passes and flies off towards the target.

These are very different approaches.

I’ve also noticed the amount of time spent on the driver.

Comparing how men and women behave on the driving range, I can assure you that there are few women who, out of a bucket of 40 balls, hit 5 shots with an iron and 35 with a driver.

Among men, this is all too common.

And it’s understandable. The driver is the ultimate tool for power and distance, and the further it goes, the better, isn’t it? Or so we’re led to believe?

There’s no denying that hitting the ball a long way is rewarding.

Who hasn’t felt a great sense of pride at some point (myself included) at having outdriven their mates?

This pride is greater and more highly valued, especially amongst men, than the pride of having placed the ball closer to the flag with an approach shot.

At tournaments, there’s often a driving contest and an approach shot contest.

Winning the approach shot contest is satisfying, but a good approach shot can always be put down to luck or good fortune (especially by the envious ones who didn’t manage it), whereas winning the driving contest!!! Just imagine!

Hitting the ball further than all the other men in the tournament! What a feat! It’s the stuff of dreams, and I think it appeals far more to men than to women.

It seems to me, however, that it’s important to put the driver’s place in a bag into perspective. On a course where you’re playing 80, 90 or 100 strokes, how often do you actually need the driver?

Before this column gets too long – though I’ll come back to this topic – here’s a quick example of just how important – or unimportant – the choice of driver is in a round.

Yesterday I was playing with my friend Roger. We were teeing off on the 12th hole, a short par-4 with a sharp dogleg to the left, on the Lake View course in Hua Hin.

The fairway is quite narrow.

To the left, there’s a water hazard. To the right are trees, and at the far end of the fairway, opposite, there are also trees about 190 metres away.

So, if you choose to hit the driver straight down the fairway, you mustn’t hit it too far. To the left, this water hazard is about 120 metres at its widest point, but it’s much narrower at the far end of the fairway.

Beyond the water, there’s another section of fairway, this time much wider, before reaching the green, which is quite noticeably elevated at the top of the hill.

We walked this course (no golf trolley) under a blazing sun without a breath of wind, which is rare here. We’re starting to feel the strain.

Roger, who hadn’t been driving very well up to that point – certainly not very straight – took out his driver

That day, my driver had stayed in the bag from the start.

So the younger caddy handed me my 3-wood, which I’d been using on most of the par 4s and 5s from the tee.

To which I reply: “No, give me the 7-iron.” The two caddies look at me sceptically.

The 7-iron is currently the most accurate club in my bag. It’s extremely rare for me to slice the ball with this club.

I let Roger tee off first. The ball flies high, but veers far to the right – just like everything else he’s hit today – and lands in the trees.

I play my 7-iron very calmly, straight ahead. I hit it about 135 metres.

With a bit of roll and a touch of luck, I’m not far from the water hazard on the left.

To be sure of clearing it, I need to hit it about 130–140 metres.

Roger, on the other hand, can’t clear the water hazard coming out of the woods – it’s too tricky.

So he plays a shot that gets him back onto the fairway before the water. His lie under the trees isn’t great. He’s a bit short of the water hazard.

It’s not going to be easy.

It’s his turn again, but he still needs to hit a shot of some distance to clear that pesky water hazard. He chooses a 5-wood. The shot starts off quite well, but with a slight slice, and unfortunately it ends up in the water. So he has to drop the ball just before the water.

I pick up my 7-iron again and play a relaxed, high shot that clears the water hazard and lands on the fairway.

Roger drops just before the water hazard, clears it and ends up roughly in the same area as me. He’s taken five strokes, including the penalty.

Roger, who rarely uses his irons, picks up a wood, feeling a bit annoyed by what’s happened earlier. He hits it rather hard, sending his ball past the flag towards the back left of the green.

I play a very calm shot with my pitching wedge. The contact isn’t perfect. The ball lands on the front of the green, slightly short of the pin. I miss my putt from the edge of the green but am lucky enough to sink the next one.

I ended up with a bogey, which is a very good score for me on a par-4 that isn’t very long but is quite technical.

That’s my level.

I didn’t take out the driver; I didn’t try to hit it big.

I wouldn’t have won the driving contest that day, between Roger and me at any rate.

But a bogey on my scorecard is something I’d take any day.

The series of decisions I made today on this par-4 hole is an example of the way I try to play these days – using my head far more than my arms. I’ve been playing golf for over 20 years, but I’ve only been playing this way for just over a year. I’m not posting extraordinary scores, mind you, but it causes far less frustration.